I have so much graditude right now for how good our God is. In spite of all that is could go wrong, is going wrong, or even already has gone wrong, <HE IS GOOD>. Thank you, Jesus, for making all things new.
Someone once told me that they thought people can’t change. That asking someone to change is like asking a zebra to change its stripes – in their opinion, change is impossible.
People who believe change is impossible do so because of prior wounding… and who can blame them? We all experience massive existential crisis at one point in our lives and for many it leaves them broken. Jesus wants your brokenness though, he wants you to be near to the cross. It is in the brokenness that our most important need becomes so obvious: our need for Jesus and closeness to the Father. This is why I say, God allows me to have burdens in my life because my burdens keep me near the cross at the feet of Jesus.
People do change – most do unwillingly or unknowingly. Its in our DNA to constantly be changing: we adapt to our surroundings, we become like the people we spend time with, we become what we consume. This is why you have to be so careful about who you let have influence in your life. I could mention smoking, drinking, cursing, or any other vainity that you would find in another article, but I want to actually talk about the things most people miss: How who we spend time with affects our subconscious decision making processes, thought patterns, and brain waves. This idea, scientifically, is called interbrain-synchronization.
Interbrain-synchronization does not just occur between two people, it can also occur in groups of people or communities who are close-knit. It can have positive benefits like developing empathy, closeness, cooperation, and understanding. What is usually ignored or unknown is the potential negative consequences of syncing with someone who does not have the same values, principles, or goals in life.
Speaking from personal experience here, I have seen a happy, beautiful, life-giving person turn into a fearful, controlling, life-draining person because of developed closeness with the wrong individual. It is very rare that a person with a higher (more positive) thought life would pull someone with a lower (more negative) thought life up to their level. The only hope for people with a negative frame of mind is Jesus, and he works through direct impact, while we work through indirect-influence. Often times we want to work directly with people who we think we can fix, but the inevitable outcome is almost always joining that person in their pain. We become more like them than they do like us.
I know what you’re thinking now, “but Grey, if I don’t spend time with “X” how will they ever come to know Jesus? How will they heal from their wouding?” Again, we work through influence, God works through impact. The best practice when working with an unhealthy person is to keep them at arms length and pray for them, pray that God would have a direct impact in their life. Change comes from inside, not the outside. You and I, no matter how godly we may be, could never change someone on the inside. Only God can do that, and he does it by convicting us of who we have been so that we will be moldable clay in his hands so he can reshape us.
The only way to change in a positive direction is to take an inventory of your life. In Re:Generation we worked through Fears, Resentments, Harms by me, Harms to Me, Sexual history, and any other recovery issues. For me, this process was the first time I had ever taken a snapshot of my life…and I have to be honest with you, I did not like who I was. But it was the snapshot that allowed me to see that I did not like who I was so the Lord could change me in the areas he wanted to. I had to face the reality of who I had been so I could enjoy the reality of who God calls me to be – this redemptive story is now my testimony.
God has a testimony for you. You may already have it or you may not. Maybe you grew up in a christian home like me, and knew of Jesus because of the spiritual lineage you grew up in… Jesus The Acquaintance, and not Jesus The Savior. <-This was my story.
Our God is in the business of making all things new. Our role in becoming new through Christ is just to come as we are, to come as willful participants to experience his grace. Jesus met with the Father in a desolate place, the Father will be there to meet you too.
Come as you are.
Grey Bonin 
Leave a comment